Purse Monkey

To add to a hectic, inefficient day yesterday, the purse monkey comes along and steals more stuff out of my purse! We were eating lunch at my cousin's restaurant in downtown Richmond, and I guess my bag fell over because an hour later when we got to the post office I realized my phone was missing! Stuff keeps falling out of the pockets which are near the top of my bag and apparently are not secure because in the past two days I've lost my good Arbonne chapstick (hard to replace because you have to order it) and my cell phone! When I discovered my phone was gone I blamed it on the stinkin purse monkey who must be stealing stuff out of my purse! Because how you could lose all of those things?! Abu, you are a sneaky monkey! ...like the one in this video:

Dumb Donuts

Out of milk in my mind means one thing: donuts. And there's only one kind of donuts: Dunkin. This new DD by our house just opened and has a drive-thru, an invention totally meant for donut eaters like me who struggle to get up in the morning but do manage to get out of the house for a delicious donut reward. However, this new Dunkin Donuts failed at one of the most important things: competent servers. This was our order:

Whit (driving and very tired): Can I have a donut with sprinkles and a chocolate glazed donut hole

Lady taking our order: ...A chocolate glazed hole, anything else?

Whit: One jelly-filled

Lady: Oh, one jelly-filled donut hole, is that all?

Whit: No, we still want the chocolate glazed hole

Me (passenger-ing and very tired): [trying to be heard over the sound of speaker and Whit talking] Sprinkles! She forgot my donut with sprinkles!

Lady: Okay, two donut holes, that's 50 cents

Me: That's supposed to be a donut not a donut hole! And don't forget the sprinkles! Who would order just two donut holes??

Whit: Wait that's a jelly-filled DONUT and a chocolate glazed hole

Me: And sprinkles!

Whit: ...and a donut with sprinkles

Lady: haha, oh okay, one sprinkles, one jelly-filled, and one chocolate hole, that'll be $2.25 [goofy laugh]

I am thinking, "How dumb do you have to be to mess up an order that many times?? It's only like 9 in the morning!" But we did manage to get our donuts...finally! And then as we were driving away laughing due to our tiredness and the malaise of that ordering situation, Whit notices he only ordered one donut, which is not enough breakfast for a man! Arrgh Dunkin Donuts you got us this time, but next time, we will be victorious!

Eye Exam

Have you had your eye exam lately? "How can 'Instantly Improve Vision' not be at the top of your to-do list?"

I had my check-up a few days ago but I had missed a year or two since my last one. The whole time I could not stop thinking of this Brian Regan clip! Enjoy :) 

 

(P.S. I actually did a pretty good job this time of choosing between "1 & 2," but when I came home I put my new contacts into the case...that held my other contacts! So the old and new got stuck together but I separated them without tearing them and think I successfully determined which ones were the new ones and which were old. Whoops.)

Joey

Whit and I have been watching Friends. And by far all the best moments (those requiring a rewind) have been Joey moments. He is just hilarious. So I will share our new favorite Joey moment: The One with the Cheesecakes.

Whit's Birthday Weekend!

Why do I have a picture of my wonderful, extremely attractive man on the blog? Because today is Whit's birthday!

A few months ago as I was planning his birthday I randomly looked up the civic center just to see if they had anything going on, and I found out that Brian Regan was doing a show the night before his birthday! Fortunately I checked the website just in time, because they went on sale the next day! I had been thinking I would take him skiing, so I let him choose between the two. It was a tough choice but he picked Brian Regan and I'm so glad he did! (Especially because it was 60-70 degrees yesterday!)

The tickets were pretty expensive, but we had a little extra date money for the month, so we got to eat out. Whit picked B-Dubs, his favorite restaurant (well it's between that and O'Charley's). I was glad to go there with him. We used to go every Tuesday night for cheap wings in college, but this year we've only been one other time, so it was fun to go and bring back good memories of when we were dating.

Brian Regan was hilarious! We were wondering if he would have any new material since we've seen all of his DVDs. Last time we went, 3 years ago, we knew some jokes but a lot were new. This time, the ENTIRE show was new material!! It was fun to get to hear all new stuff (we did hear 2 old jokes in the encore). It was very interesting because he was trying a lot of it out, so some of it wasn't that funny, wasn't completely refined yet, or he messed up. I could tell he was a little nervous because last time he seemed a lot more confident in the transitions. I think one time he forgot the joke he was going to tell so he just made something else...which he does very naturally. That was great because even if he messed up a joke, he would completely redeem it by talking about the fact that he just messed up. It was fun to watch him analyze himself and then critique what he was doing. For example, one of the funniest parts of the night was when he sang this song. He sang about 4 lines, and at the end of it said something like "Whoa, that was way too long. I don't know what I was doing there. The back of my mind kept being like whoa Brian this has been going on for far too long, but my mouth just kept singing! That's the last time you ever hear that version of the song. You'll see this bit on TV and think, "Wow that's short! When I saw him that joke was like 12 minutes long! I went to get a beer and came back and he was STILL singing!""

I really liked that we got to hear his analysis because it was personal and real - and we're the only audience that got to hear that version of the joke! He told another joke and no one really laughed, so he goes "Well that was the first time telling that joke, thanks for your feedback. You've gotta try it out sometime. You know what I'm gonna be doing tonight, I'll go home and scratch that one off the list." When he would make those ad lib comments was when I was cracking up the most. Another unique thing for us that there was a WWE smackdown in the other civic center auditorium. So at one point he says "When I was walking in here I saw all these oddly-shaped people and I was thinking, this is not my usual crowd - this is gonna be a weird night!"

Our favorite part of the night was this joke about Bagpipes. One thing that was awesome about it was he incorporated the joke he bombed (about neanderthals making up the word "the" to sound more sophisticated). He started telling this bagpipes joke and in the middle of it says "or maybe it's "the" bagpipes." He talked to himself trying to figure it out and then asked us "is it bagpipes or the bagpipes?" After awhile no one knew and he was like "I guess you don't have bagpipes here. ...Maybe I'll go ask the wrestlers in the other room what it is." And then he started singing the song that he joked about earlier, which was just hilarious. Anyways I hope you get to hear the bagpipes joke at some point because I was absolutely dying laughing during it - to the point that I couldn't breathe/laugh and I thought I was going to pee my pants. I haven't laughed that hard in years! So look for his new material on Comedy Central or CD/DVD soon!

Back to Whit's birthday - I am so glad I got to celebrate his birthday with him this year as his WIFE! I felt so special that he wanted to spend the day with me. Even though we had a great date last night, and he's hanging out with the guys tonight, he wanted to hang out with me all this afternoon. I'm so privileged to be his favorite person! :) We were going to go hiking, but since it was cold and we were sleepy in church, we took a nap...that ended up being 2 1/2 hours long! Then we watched a nature video together to be even more chill. I love Whit so much and was so happy to get to be the person to celebrate 24 years of life with him today! Happy Birthday, babe! Love you! :)