Hope

I had the day off today and I was so looking forward to doing a bunch of fun things - watching new dvds I got for Christmas, playing our new video games, doing random stuff online like playing settlers or making shutterfly books since I have a ton of free coupons. The problem is that I don't care about ANY of those things. I don't want to do them at all. I don't want to do ANYthing. Basically I've been fairly depressed recently and just not motivated or excited about anything. The diagnosis? Easy. Not being satisfied in the Lord. The problem? Cyclical. Not wanting to seek the Lord even though He's exactly what I need. I've been dealing with it pretty complacently until tonight when it all built up and I just had to get out of the house and do something! I realize now why I haaaate the winter so much! It's freaking SO depressing! It's DARK outside most of the day and FREEZING so you are just stuck inside always. My body (like yours) really needs exercise, but since last semester it didn't work out for me to get to use the VT gym, I just never got to exercise. I can't run outdoors in the cold because it makes me sick, which isn't a great tradeoff when you're trying to be healthy. Anyways, I was so fed up with cabin fever that Whit convinced me to take a walk. It was WONDERFUL to get some fresh air and move around! It was so great talking to him about everything that's going on - though it was all negative on my part. Sorry. Anyways I realized what I need and it's not what I thought I needed. What I thought I needed is something to look forward to - a physical thing - buying a new camera soon, going to St. John in 5 years, etc. What I need is to look forward to HEAVEN. My hope should not be set on things that might not happen or that might break, but on the eternal fellowship and joy in Jesus. Sooo if you are unsatisfied these winter days too, what we need is to meet with our maker every day (like in the book You are Special by Max Lucado) and to hope in the Lord.1 Peter 1:13 Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.